Can I have a nap please?

So I think my world is calming down...knock on wood!! Mom's surgery for her gallbladder went very well this week and she seems to be feeling better. We were all getting so worried about her. She just got so sick and just plain down. It was wearing at her spirit which was so hard to see. And when my mom stays in bed all day - you know its bad. She keeps going through things most people would be screaming about. Anyway, the surgery is done and she seems to be better. I pray she continues to feel better!!!
We also have my Grandma Ginny living here with us now. Crazily enough, the day mom went to the ER with her gallbladder trouble, my grandma went to the ER as well with a panic attack. My brother was headed to pick her up at the same time that I was headed to see about mom here. She is having so much anxiety that Dad decided she was finally at the stage where she just can't live alone anymore. So that night he drove to KC and brought her home the next morning. She's been here ever since. I've been trying to help her work through some of the anxiety (being so very familiar with it myself!), working with her medicine, scheduling doctors appointments, trying to think of anything that might get her up out of bed, looking up alternative therapies like exercises, etc for her many pains, and today we finally took her to a new doctor. I was so worried this guy wouldn't be any good or he'd be gruff with her or she would take some irrational dislike to him. When we pulled up to the clinic I was even more worried. It is in kind've a dumpy part of town in a dumpy little storefront. But this guy was wonderful with her. He sat with us for almost an hour and a half talking about all her medicines, medical problems, etc and making a plan to start readjusting things. We are all half in love with him! Grandma came right home and tried to marry me off to the guy :) who for the record has a 24 year old son, is married, and wouldn't give me a second look even if he wasn't!
All of this on top of dealing with my own stuff, my 5 year old, trying to change my eating habits and get an exercise program started, and needing to get ready for school has left me ready for a break! How lucky I am to have such a wonderful family. I just hope I've been a small amount of help to them through this deal.
I declared (in my head- not to the world or anything overly dramatic like that) tonight a lazy calm stay in my apartment with the lights turned down low, kids movies entertaining Anna, with nothing but my computer and scrapbooking and books to occupy my brain. ahhh..... I can feel myself relaxing!

Pictures of my new home

Had a great night out with my friend Julie B tonight! Got away from all the crazy and stress attacking me and mine for a few hours. Back home now in my comfortable little apartment that I'm so thankful for. Feeling sad over things tonight, but I know I have so much to be thankful for.

We found this saying on a magnet tonight and Julie pointed it out and said it sounded like me. So thanks to Julie for that compliment. I don't feel very brave or strong most of the time, but I am trying!

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow." Mary Anne Radmacher

Thought I'd post some pics of my area- I love it and I love coming home to all the pretty colors. I don't think it looks as pretty in the pictures...

 Bedside table

Living area

Anna's bed, part of the living area

 My beloved desk- if you want to get a glimpse into my personality- just need to take a look at this desk area! It holds so much of me and the things I love! 

My favorite pictures of Anna right as you walk in the room

More pictures of my desk area- I had the boxes in my old home, but the top is a piece that my wonderful Dad made for me just to give me more space. 

Did I mention I love my desk?

My swirl-y storage piece that mom brought me home and I LOVE!!! I've filled it with special things from people I love, shells from vacations, etc. 

My board thats supposed to hold reminders but instead seems to be full of things I've found inspirational or just things I love. 

Hopefully this next month I'll get to work painting Anna's playroom and decorating it as well. Plus i still have to get all my favorite quotes, etc typed up and maybe put around the room to lift my spirits on a night like tonight when I'm feeling blue!

About me

5 things I've learned about me:
1. I'm totally content with a little space that I can putter around in: painting old baskets crazy colors, having purple walls, scrapbooking, having a hodge podge of decor, learning to knit and crochet, my cats under my feet and in my lap, my daughter playing barbies or babies or family in the same room.
2. I deserve to be happy, but I am in charge of making myself happy.
3. I have a huge capacity for forgiveness.
4. I have a lot of work to do to become the person I want to be.
5. I like having a big network of people and things I'm involved in and with.


5 things I've relearned about me:
1. I have the best family in the world.
2. I treasure beyond worth my family and friendships.
3. Exercise really does make me feel better in every way.
4. I am sentimental and tender hearted underneath this crusty old shell that has grown around my heart.
5. I love mashed potatoes in every way, shape, and form.


5 things I currently need to stop eating:
1. Stacy's chips with parm. cheese
2. M & M's
3. apparently potatoes....
4. sweet tea- actually I already stopped this one but I need 5 things and I guess my diet hasn't been as bad as I thought!
5. M & M's again.

5 things I hope Anna learns from me:
1. Trying is the one of the most important things in the world.
2. Don't let fear rule your life. (I never said I was GOOD at these myself! just that I want her to learn it as I do...)
3. Don't follow the crowd- do what makes you happy.
4. Family helps each other even at sometimes drastic cost to themselves.
5. Be a strong woman, have your own career, build your own life then add someone into it, always have a back up plan, be smart with your money but don't be obsessed with what it buys or the status it gives you, remember before you open your mouth that you can't take things back, be careful with people's feelings, take care of your body and your mind and your spirit, don't wait for things to get better- go out and make them better.

Untitled

My days are flying by. I am already staring down the next semester and the looming nclex exam (which gives me my RN license) without having accomplished all the studying I intended to before my world blew up. As I told mom today when she ever so nicely and lovingly told me "you've had a lot on your mind" - having a lot on my mind has to stop being an excuse at some point!!! I feel overwhelmed at everything that needs to be accomplished  before school starts and really in the next few weeks. And I really really must pay some attention to my studies!

I am going to sign up to run a 5K hopefully this October or November.  It'll be my first 5K in several years but I restarted my couch to 5K program with my sister-in-law so I'm hoping to be able to run it almost completely by then. Doing the 5K's are such a motivation for me and I really really enjoy the sense of community and accomplishment that comes with them. My parents have my old treadmill in the basement and my mom has a pilates machine down there and it actually stays less than 1,000 degrees down there as well so I've been able to stick to my program so far. My wonderful brother also helped me get my music situated back on my phone so I am able to listen to that as well which makes the time go by so much faster!! I'm not concentrating so much on total pounds lost as just getting healthier every day. I just want to be healthy and hopefully the weight will come off as I accomplish the other. I am looking for a partner to run the 5K's with if anyone out there is interested!