"Do or Do Not. There is No Try."

"Do or Do Not. There is No Try"- Master Yoda. (Empire Strikes Back)

New Year's Resolutions:

I like making resolutions. Maybe I won't keep them all as faithfully as I should but that is no reason not to try right? I completely believe you have to constantly work towards improving yourself AND I like making lists AND I love having projects, so the natural combination of that is a list of resolutions! So here are my top ten (you can't have too many resolutions just in case you were wondering)....carefully thought out and edited!

1. Continue weight loss- concentrating on making exercise and healthy eating a normal everyday part of life. Working out 3 times a week with weights, running at least one mile 5 times a week.

2. Keep house cleaner! - concentrating on making cleaning something that is done constantly throughout the day instead of as a chore that must be gotten through as quickly as possible!

3. Finish Project List- I have had this list for ... I don't know... years. Let's get this list done for heaven's sake!

4. Do a Bible study every night- yes for those of you out there judging me- I don't always do a Bible study every night. I know, I know. It's on the list.

5. Get my own complaint bracelet- I am tired of waiting for the real one. That isn't a complaint! Or is it? In any case, I can do my own "no complaining" thing, then I can make up my own rules!
6. Find ways to improve myself -Including but not limited to.... reading educational books, getting involved in a church somewhere (if I can ever decide where to go), learning how to do new things (I am currently working on crocheting), learn to be a better cook, etc etc.

7. Keep better records of Anna-start scrapbook of Anna, write more in Anna's baby book, video Anna more.

8. unspoken (thats right! I do have some secrets!)

9. unspoken again (this is my blog and I don't have to tell you everything!)

and finally...

10. Be the absolute best mom I can be to the wonderful little girl that God has given me to take care of!

Answer to comment left on my Afrin blog

Here is the comment left on my "New Best Friend" Blog regarding my use of Afrin.

"Isn't that stuff addictive? - Julie"

Dear Gentle Reader Julie-
Ah how quickly jealously rears it's ugly head. Don't be sad because I have a new best friend! I still love you, just not as much. Hahahaha....

In answer to your question - yes Afrin is quite highly addictive. And for your information, I followed the directions on the bottle like a good consumer and only took the medicine for 3 days. Ok fine- I gave in and took it one dose more than the allotted 3 days. I had about a day of irritating stuffiness (and I might add that the last dose burned like crazy), during which I admit I did worry that maybe I had gotten addicted to it in just 3.5 short days. My dear brother told me the first 48 hours are the worst coming off of any drug and not to worry. (: The directions also state that if you use it more than the 3 days allowed by the medicine men that it might result in a reversal and you might experience more stuffiness! So that was irritating and I guess only what I deserved.
Thank you for your concern,

Amber

Frustration

Do you ever feel like you are running and running as hard as you can and still losing ground? Or that sometimes you actually catch sight of the goal and then you stumble across a boulder in your path that you didn't even see coming and the goal is gone again?

Christmas Pictures

Here are some pictures of Christmas- Adam went out and got Anna a golf club just her size! It has a pink handle and she loves it. I am thinking things like "broken tv, another hole in my chair", but he is just thinking "my daughter loves golf just as much as I do". (:



Later in the day Anna sat in this same stroller and insisted on being pushed around.



Slide is a hit!




This is the train from Nana and Papa- this thing makes like 50 gajillion noises and she absolutely loves it.




Playing with her new kitchen. It is so funny how kids know exactly how to use things they have never used before. She "fills" her cups up in the fridge door and pushes the different buttons for ice cubes, pulled all the dishes out and put them in the sink, called Nana and told her about the kitchen, pushed all the microwave buttons, etc.












Never can have too many baby dolls.



Lightning McQueen car - I got her 3 of these then took them all back because I was worried about the wheels coming off and choking her. Luckily Daddy got her one because she sure was jealous of her cousin Josh's cars.

"Opening presents is such hard work!"

Our Christmas

Oh my goodness the gluttony that has occured these last two days.... I would hang my head in shame if the 3 chins I have added were not taking up all the room between my head and shoulders. Ok it wasn't really that bad compared to the way I used to eat. But after 6+ mos of eating much more carefully (and by carefully I mean more like a normal person eats) even a medium indulgence seems like a ridiculous amount of food!

Aside from the eating, Christmas was great this year. We had a wonderful time with my in-laws last night and with my family today. Anna got such wonderful presents this year. I don't even know how we will ever top this Christmas for gifts so perhaps it is good that she really won't remember this one! Anna was a lot of fun this year. She certainly knows what to do with presents now! She kept asking for more presents all day. She loves her kitchen and her train and all the other things she got. Thank you so much to everyone for her gifts!

I hope you all had as great a Christmas as we did. I am so thankful for the blessing of great family.

Merry Christmas

Just wanted to say Merry Christmas to everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday with family and friends, that you get every present you ever wanted, that everyone eats too much and gets really fat so that I am not the only one having to work out like a contestant on the biggest loser.... oh sorry did I really type that? (: Enjoy the holidays!

I will see you all back here (hopefully) for the New Year's Resolution blog (for preview see above statement about working out...sigh....)

God Bless you!

My New Best Friend

One of my old best friends introduced me to my new best friend the other day. We hit it off right away. Seriously, my new best friend is wonderful. Unselfish, strong, a little quiet, giving, always there when I need my new best friend. My new best friend came to me in my hour of need and did not let me down. I was a little skeptical but my new best friend came through for me. It's like my new best friend was created solely to help me in my distress and to help me breathe the fresh air in a whole new way..... my new best friend is ......

More Pics of Anna

Here are the other pictures from Anna's 18 month sitting that I have given in and purchased and two from her Christmas sitting. Thanks for looking!

When the whole world was against me....

I thought maybe it was time for a funny story again so here is the story of when the whole world was against me.

Once upon a time....

back in my younger days I had a tendency to get really stressed out and feel like the whole world was against me. (Thank heavens I have conquered that tendency...oh wait....). At the time of this story I was working at TE Mortgage and my husband had just made a career change due to some unforseen and very unexpected problems with his dad's company. This of course laid the foundation for my stress. I have never handled uncertainty with finances well at all and I of course assume the absolute worst. I just knew we would lose the house and everything we had in the house and that we would have to declare bankruptcy and have to go to debtors prison or the workhouse. (You see how my mind spirals downward.) So, Adam was trying to start up a business with my boss. Having a husband and a boss working together in your building can be ... let's use the word fun. Added to this uncertainty of whether this business would be able to pay our bills or in any way work for our future and the fact that several of the people in the business that I worked for did not in any way like the idea of this new business sucking up cash and the ...fun... of having your husband and boss working together in the same building you work in, were a few more problems. For one, my Papa was having health issues again. This was one of the times when his normal health problems were worse than normal. Second, my beloved brother had just moved to Tennessee which is 8 hours away from me. This I did not like. At all. Thirdly- my job at the time could include very stressful days of "must have now" and "numbers need to be higher" etc etc. There were a few more things stressing me out which to be honest I don't even remember now- I just remember the overwhelming feeling of everything going very badly. Financial stress is just about the worse kind of stress for me. (Worrying about losing a loved one is the worst for anyone who wants to know.) So, again, here I am under a lot of stress. Please don't judge me if you don't think these things should have stressed me out- whether they should have or not - the fact remains that I was very stressed!

So one night, after a very stressful, busy day of dealing with demanding loan officers and underwriters, I get in the car with my husband to drive home. It was a white ford explorer for the record. Adam was driving. Like the nice husband he is, he picked me up at the door. I get in the car and sit down and the dumb car dies. Ok that's weird. Adam tried to start it again. Doesn't start. Ok.... I get out of the car to do who knows what and it starts again. So I get back in the car and it dies. What in the world is going on! Everytime I got in the car the stupid thing died! Everytime I got out of the car it would start and run just fine. !!!!! So Adam and I switch places. I drive and he gets in the passenger side. It runs just fine! I am not going to lie to you- there were some tears. So we go home. Next day the same thing happens! I get in, car dies. This car hates me, right!?! I am not making this up- the car would run just fine until I got in the passenger side. I had to ride around in the backseat like a child for days! I mean really..... what can even cause such a weird thing to happen? Seriously- at this point I knew this was all happening because the world actually was against me. What more proof do you need? (:

Actually it turns out that somehow when I got into the car, I was kicking a wire buried under the floorboard that had a short in it. Seriously....what a dumb thing. Adam didn't put his feet in the same spot as I did to get in so he never hit the wire. Why do these things happen to me? Geez, what a frustration that was! (:

Stickers!

My house is covered in stickers. I have found stickers stuck on my kitchen cabinets, the bathroom cabinets, the kitchen floor, the living room floor, the couch, the chair, the hallway floor, the table, the basket in my tv cabinet, Anna's dresser, Anna's clothes, the bottom of my socks, in Anna's hair, on my arm, the fridge, and in Anna' mouth. I am sure there are more out there waiting to be discovered. We have bright pink, green, yellow and orange dots, Little Mermaid, Cars, Nemo and all his friends, princess, bubbles, farm, puppies, Belle, zoo, and of course, all the random pieces between the actual stickers. Who knew that for $5 a week you can entertain your toddler for hours on end? I love the man who invented stickers. (: Christmas will be great because Grandma T got Anna a set of 300 stickers! That should last about 2 days.

More

This is one of my favorite songs. You have to read it as a song sung by God to you. I think it is a great reminder of how much God loves us.

"More"

Take a look at the mountains
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of Me
Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am
And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look around you
I'm spelling it out one by one

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you,
yesterday and today
And tomorrow,
I'll say it again and again
I love you more

Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to Me
And I want you to know
That I'm not letting go
Even when you come undone

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you,
yesterday and today
And tomorrow,
I'll say it again and again
I love you more
I love you more

Shine for Me
Shine for Me
Shine on, shine on
Shine for Me

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you,
yesterday and today
And tomorrow,
I'll say it again and again
I love you more

Than the sun
and the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you,
yesterday and today
Through the joy and the pain
I'll say it again and again
I love you more
I love you more
And I see you
And I made you
And I love you more than you can imagine
More than you can fathom
I love you more than the sun
And you shine for me

What Anna is up to these days...

One of the delights of having a child that I just never fully comprehended until we had Anna is watching them learn and grow and change. She is such a delightful baby and I am still a little in awe that she is mine. I now fully understand how parents can talk about their children nonstop and laugh over the smallest, silliest things that those kids do. Everything your child does (even the naughty things) are fascinating to you. I also have fallen into the classic mom's habit of discussing your child's poo but that is another post. (:

In any case... here are a couple of things Anna has been doing lately. I can brag here in my blog without being too awfully annoying to everyone!

1. Hand! Anna has lately taken to demanding "hand!" which means give me your hand and let me take you to whatever toy or puzzle or drink that she wants at that exact moment. It's the cutest thing! And she really loves to have one person on each side of her so she has two hands to hold and two people to order around. Make no mistake- that is what she is doing. If you tell her you are busy she will just stand there and say "hand! hand!" over and over til you give in. Not that I ever give in to her. (: But the sweetest part of this new demand is when she asks for your hand when she is in her carseat and she simply wants to hold your hand on the ride home.

2. Words. Anna is such a little talker. The number of words this child uses is crazy! After a recent parents as teachers visit, I sat down and wrote down every word I could remember hearing Anna use (not just repeat). I stopped at 100. Since then I have heard so many more. Sometimes she will say something that I have no idea where she even picked up!

3. Hugs and Kisses. Anna is such a loving baby. She hugs on everyone, even her dolls. And her books. Most of the time when I read to her we have to stop every couple pages so she can press her face to the page. (that's how she hugs). When she is forced to be still (like during diaper changes) she will grab whatever stuffed animal she can get her hands on and just kiss (audibly) it over and over. It is so funny. She esp. wants to hug and kiss on whatever little kid is around. Most of her little playmates are boys so I guess I will have to watch that tendency!

4. Dance. Oh my goodness the dancing! She loves loves loves to dance! She dances to commercials, to music on her movies, in the car, wherever and whenever she hears a good beat. She moves her little arms around mostly but also spins and is starting to pick up her feet. She really wants to jump but can't quite figure it out. She loves to be picked up and spun around or have me hold her and jump.

ok this is getting really long and I could go on and on... so I will stop for now and maybe write some more later about this delightful, perfect little girl that God has given me. But just for the record, I could write til my hands fell off and still not be able to tell you how wonderful she is and how much she is to me and her daddy.

Anna's 18 Month Pictures

My little baby is 18 mos old! She is getting to be such a big girl. Here are the pictures we got taken this week. I might be a big sucker and go buy some additional poses. It was very difficult to decide which ones to buy with a store full of people and everyone waiting on me to make a decision! As usual I am not second guessing the ones I bought and wishing I had bought other ones!

Postscript

Adam said it was mean to call him a dumbsmack.....even though he totally was. But seriously, even if he does stupid things like swing a golf club in the house, I do love my husband!

GRRRRR....

I forgot to report what my dumbsmack husband did the other night. I come home all innocent and carefree from a shopping trip with my sister and hang out a little while with her and my mom. They leave and I am picking up the living room and out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of something on the arm of my chair. Being the good housewife I go over to investigate.

(in my head)
"What is that on the chair.....that's weird...wait a minute...what the hell..... is my chair RIPPED? What the HELL happened to my chair? How the HELLFIRE did my chair get a huge enormous rip right in the very front of the arm?"

As I turn around to try and figure out what happened I see my husband with his sheepish "hehe..oops" look on his face and I also see the golf club sticking out of the back of chair.

(in my head again)
"What did he do.....what did he do? You have GOT to be kidding me! I am going to kill him dead right now. I am going to take the golf club and hit HIM with it in the HEAD!"

(to my husband)
"What did you do!?!!!! Did you HIT my chair with your golf club? Adam! Seriously! I cannot freaking believe you ripped my chair with your dumb golf club! What the hell were you thinking swinging that thing in here? Don't swing that in here again!"

And he had the NERVE to tell me I was "overreacting". He's lucky we had an identical chair in the bedroom so now its just my bedroom chair that looks like we bought it at a flea market.

This is why we can't have nice things.

These are a few of my favorite things... about Christmas!

Having a Christmas tree all lit up, warming the room by its very presence.

Houses that have way too many lights in the yard.

The air of secrecy.

The planning.

Mom's peanut brittle. And telling her every year that I want to make it this year so I learn how and then every year letting her do it so I don't mess it up. It's very complicated! And then insisting on helping her "pull" it and burning my fingers on the sticky mess.

Sneaking one more bite of candy.

Wrapping Presents.

Cutting out snowflakes with Dad and knowing that this year we are continuing that tradition with a whole new generation.

Remembering the anticipation of Christmas' past.

The music. The old-fashioned hymns. Hearing a church choir and congregation lifting the voices in praise.

The togetherness of family and friends.

Making that extra dessert that no one needs.

The smells.

The love.

Irony

Is it wrong to complain about the fact that I haven't received my "no complaints" bracelet yet? (:

Moments

Sometimes I think there is nothing sweeter in life than snuggling up on the couch with my daughter tucked up in my lap, her head right underneath my chin, to read book after book.

I am.....

I am stealing this post from my sister-in-law Julie - she did this for one of her classes and I thought it was a neat idea so here goes....oh you can't use descriptions that would be considered an opinion like funny or smart, etc. Only facts.


I AM:

I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a sister, a sister-in-law, a granddaughter, a cousin, a niece, a stay-at-home mom, a worrier, a friend, a believer, a scrapbooker, 30 years old, a new runner, a walker, a cat and dog owner, not a drinker, a home owner, an American, a woman, a tv watcher, on a diet, a worrier, a reader, a blogger, green eyed, 5 foot 9 inches, a shopper, a traveler, brown haired, a voter, a worrier, a licensed driver, addicted to tea, not a smoker, a Missourian, a contact lenses wearer, a church goer, and......out of ideas.

Advice

"Just take it one gigantic, earth-shattering crisis at a time. "

Just Talking....

I am pretty sure no one is still reading this blog but it is kind've nice to still have. I like having somewhere to record myself. I don't like the physical act of writing. Perhaps its because I hate my handwriting. Oh yes, and there is no backspace key with a pen. In any case, I do love "keeping a journal" - just not on paper. Online works much better for me. Of course, I can't tell this diary EVERY thought that goes through my head just in case people are still reading it. But the thoughts that I wouldn't want to post are also the thoughts that are probably better left unrecorded in any fashion. Paranoid? perhaps. Too much damage can be done by words. I have learned that over the years. And even when everyone agrees to forgive and forget I believe the words spoken can still linger on in people's souls years later. So for anyone still reading- you are getting a glimpse into my heart and mind and soul but maybe not too deep of one. (:

I do wonder how well some of my friends actually know me. It is interesting how over the years you can start to know someone better than they even think you do. Several years ago, Adam and I saw a movie and after the first preview I leaned over to Adam and pointed to a woman on the screen and said "you hate her, don't you?" Now he has never told me this and I have no idea how I knew but I just knew that he couldn't stand something about her. I freaked him out! He couldn't believe I knew that. I think I hide large chunks of myself away from people but you wonder how much they pick up just from being around you so much. Sometimes I do feel like certain people do not "see" the real me. And maybe wouldn't like me as much if they did. I hope that I do a good job of "seeing" and loving my friends the way they are.

FYI....

I just signed up for the Jingle Bell Run. Yes I am aware I said I was skipping it. I changed my mind! However, I don't just get a t-shirt for doing this one. I have to raise money. It's for arthritis. I am not sure what they do with this money I raise. But I do want a shirt. So if you love me donate! (:

ps.... I think I have to raise something like $5000 so really people- get that money rolling in.

pss...ok I only have to raise $25. I wasn't really trying to raise $5000 to pay the $25 and then keep 4,975 of it for myself. Really. I wasn't. Seriously.

Great Intentions

Top Ten Funny Things I said before I became a parent.....

1. If they are old enough to ask for the nuk (binky, pacifier, etc) they are too old to still have one.
2. I will never listen to children's music in my car (I haven't yet, actually but it's coming).
3. I will never give in to my child's whining.
4. Staying at home all day won't bother me a bit.
5. My child will not watch more than 30 mins of tv a day.
6. You can force a child to eat vegetables- you just have to try hard enough.
7. I will never let a child of mine scream in a public place.
8. I would never sing Old McDonald at the top of my lungs just to get my baby to stop crying.
9. I will have structured activites prepared every day.

and lastly.....

10. I will never let my baby sleep in my bed! (hahahahahaha....laughing hysterically at that one.)

Turkey Trot

Ok so when I ran the Bass Pro 5k I thought it was cold....wow- it was like a summer day in the desert compared to the Turkey Trot. Seriously, dude, and holy turkey (ok that was a little cheesy) was it freezing cold yesterday! We met at the Expo Center downtown for this marathon. I thought I was well equipped with 2 shirts, long pants, a sweatshirt with a hood, and a ear/head thing but I could have used mittens. Duh. And a scarf. Julie did try to warn me.

There were so many people there! Hold on- I will go see if there is a total number somewhere to report to you. 4,246 people! It felt like it too. We were packed into the expo center lobby waiting to begin and I actually had to move out to the windows to escape being suffocated by the enormous press of people. There were some characters there too. Aside from the actual Tom the Turkey mascot, I saw people with dogs, people with babies! (I wanted to turn them in for child abuse having them out in the arctic chill), people with Indian feathers on their heads, one huge giant guy dressed in head to toe camo, people in shorts, and people with stuffed animal turkeys on their heads. And even some people with hats made to look like actual frozen turkeys. Those were a little gross.

As usual, Julie and I head all the way to the back to find the slow section. The nice people announcing told the walkers about 50,000 times to keep moving down the street (west), keep moving down. Once we finally reached Kansas (thats where the end of the line was) we found the rest of the walkers. Then we stood there freezing our you know whats off. Actually my you know what stayed firmly in place. Unfortunately, my face took most of the wind. Last evening I kept wondering why my face felt hot and a little itchy. Wind burn sucks. Dont' worry- I slathered night cream about 10 layers thick last night so am good this morning.

Not much to say about the actual marathon. It took us forever to get back up to the starting line. Julie and I did this one together and aside from a very short jog at the start, we walked the whole race. It was just too cold man. Don't judge us- you weren't there. I, like a stupid dummy, had walked through wet grass on the way in that morning and gotten the toes of my shoes wet. That part of the shoe is mostly mesh so it went right through to my toes. I was a little afraid they would just break right off my feet when I took my shoes off but I guess they warmed up from all the walking. Anyhow, we just took a nice little walk through downtown Springfield and enjoyed the Trot. It was fun. However.... I think I might skip the Jingle Bell run.

One of my favorite quotes

"After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference. " ~ Charlotte Gray

Just another crappy morning....

GROSSNESS WARNING: Dad- you will not like this story.

A couple mornings ago, I woke up and went to let the cat out of the laundry room. As I opened the door a wave of stink greeted me like a slap in the face. Yep, the cat had taken a massive crap evidently right before I went to get her. Keeping it all locked up in the that small room served only to intensify the smell. After I picked myself up off the floor I went in to dress my daughter. Guess what! Poopy diaper time! Yea! Poopy diapers just really are the highlight of my day. Esp now that Anna has reached the age where she wants to toss herself back and forth as hard as she can while I am trying to change her. Or worse, grab the diaper and get ....well you know what all over everything. Been there done that. So anyway, now we have poop smell on both sides of the house. I throw the diaper in a plastic bag and toss it in the garage trash can. Then I retreat to the only room in the house that I thought would be stink free....AH! Wrong again. Evidently Adam spent the entire night farting his guts out. I am surprised the paint hadn't peeled from the walls. For those of you that don't know Adam's history of stink- let's just say I have asked him mulitiple times if he eats garbage. I guess I should be glad I had slept on the couch that night or I might not be alive to tell this tale. What a fun morning that was. There is just nothing like smelling crap 3 times from 3 different sources before you have even been awake 20 minutes.

Just so you know....

We are going to KC this weekend and I am going to Santa's Surplus to see if there are any good deals and I don't care what any of you think. I dont'. So there.

Bass Pro 5k

My sister-in-law Julie, and I ran our 3rd 5k this morning. It was cold! This one was sponsored by Bass Pro and benefits the Ozark Greenways. We started the race out of the Bass Pro parking lot. There were not as many people as at the Sunshine Run and they started the 10k runners at the same time they started us. (This is important later in my story). My friend Shannon met us while we were waiting for the race to start which was a great surprise! I love Shannon to death- she is so much fun. And she always makes me laugh- for example, she accidentally signed up for the 10k instead of the 5k! Silly girl- of course she rocks because she ran it anyway! Julie and I have agreed to run one race together and one separate- switching back and forth. This was our first race at our own pace. We lined up towards the back of the pack to stay out of the way of the serious runners and after a terrible rendition of The Star Spangled Banner, we were off.



Oh yes, quick side story.... Julie is a huge rule breaker (: and brought her ipod even though the rules clearly stated she was not supposed to. (I can't take her anywhere...) She put her ear pieces in after we lined up. So there we were waiting in the middle of this huge mass of people, everyone else respectfully looking at the flag, hands over their hearts, listening quietly, when Julie starts TALKING! Loudly! And doing her warm up dance. HAHAHA- she was bouncing up and down saying "Look at me! I'm warming up!" I had to tell her to shush and listen to the national anthem like a good American! Then everyone around us started laughing- it's a wonder they didn't kick us out of the race. See girls and boys what rule-breaking gets you? tsk, tsk...



Anyway, we start running South down Campbell St and I am feeling like maybe I would rather just lay down and die rather than run this race. For some reason the first 1/10 - 2/10 of the first mile is crazy hard for me. Since it was only 8 in the morning, it was blasted cold and my ears and nose felt like they were going to freeze right off my face. And my legs were screaming at me and my lungs felt like I swallowed fire. And then of all the dumb things, my new "running/yoga pants" start falling down. I was yanking these pants up literally every 5 steps or so. I am sure everyone was wondering what sort of medication I was on to make me keep jerking like that. So finally the horrible pain stops and I feel pretty good for the next mile- mile and a half. I mentioned in a previous blog that I am not the best runner so my goal was simply to run the first mile and beat our previous mostly walking time. So I am proud to announce that I was able to run all but about 4 mins of the whole race (two walking breaks of two minutes each). I will admit I was freaking glad to see that 2nd mile marker. I finished in 44 mins and 30-some odd seconds. Now while this is an excellent time for me and I am actually quite pleased with it.... for those who don't know... this is not a great time overall. Remember when I said they started the 10K race at the same time? Well about the last mile to half mile I start seeing all these runners start passing me. And I am thinking, wait a minute...shouldn't all the people running that fast be way way up ahead of me? Or finished already? And these people look like serious runners- all decked out in their running gear. Finally it dawns on me that these are the 10K runners! Passing me by! FAST! Yeah that's right- ran twice as long as me and still beat me to the finish! Ah well, one of these days. For now I am going to enjoy my success and work towards running the Jack Frost or the Jingle Hop or whatever the December race is without walking at all. Oh also, Julie did excellently well- she ran a lot of the race and bettered our previous time by more than 2 mins! I am so proud of her - I know what an effort she put in and she did so great. Thank you Jules, for getting me into this and doing them all with me!

No I did not make up my fear of tornados...

So one of my dear friends and her husband who happens to be my old boss read my blog about tornadoes and thought I must have made it up! If they only knew.... Then she actually requested more anxiety stories! So just to give you more proof that I really am like this here are a few more tidbits about some of my anxieties....

I usually have at least one dream about tornadoes a month. Usually this involves me trying to hide from the storm in a basement. Not a normal basement though. It is always a basement that you get into through a door or hole in the wall that is too small for me to fit through. (I am also quite claustrophobic.....) I actually once had a dream that I was trying to get into a basement to get away from a tornado and I got through the small door finally and then men came with guns trying to kill us all and I couldn't get back out of the room. I am sure a pyschiatrist would have a heyday with these dreams. But they also might lock me up!

My Grandma Ginny is the one I inherited this fear from. She used to start carrying food and water down to her basement when they posted tornado watches. She carried several meals worth of food and water, toilet paper, all their medicines, pillows, blankets, books, etc down there. She always said by the time she was finished carrying everything down the storms were always over. I remember her having several large buckets of water that she stored down there for any sort of emergency that might occur, be it a tornado, or ice storm that killed the power, or a terrorist attack. She also eventually went to just keeping old Christmas popcorn cans - you know which ones I am talking about? The ones with puppies or kittens or Christmas trees or whatever on the sides that hold gallons of popcorn in three flavors? The ones no one can ever actually eat all the popcorn out of? She filled 2-4 of these in her basement full of changes of underwear, canned food, extra medicine, and no telling what else. Oh definitely toilet paper. Never can have too much of that around. She might actually still have those down there. I will have to check next time I visit.

Let's see....what other things can I share about myself that will make sure you all don't want to be my friends anymore because I am just too crazy....

I go back and check to make sure my garage door is shut probably 1 out of 3 trips out of the house. And I mean trips around town- not trips out of town.

I can't read scary books anymore because I woke Adam up one too many times to check the house for murderers. When I used to read them I would sit in a corner with my back to the wall right outside our old bedroom door so I could yell for Adam if I got too scared.

I once called the cops on an innocent man because when I got up to let the dog out I saw that he was trying to break into my neighbor's house to murder them in cold blood and then proceed to my house to murder me and Adam because he saw me watching him and couldn't leave any witnesses alive. Or I guess maybe he could have just been visiting his parents and have stepped outside on their porch to smoke a cigarette. Either one.... Who needs neighborhood watch when you've got me available and ready to overreact any time of day or night?

The movie Jurassic Park scares me if I watch it at night by myself. Not because I am scared of dinosaurs but because the spooky music makes me start thinking bad things are going to happen. Don't even get me started on the movie Signs. And you better believe the movie Scream is going nowhere near my tv no matter what time it is.

I have a secret fear that there is a snake coiled up in whatever toilet I happen to be using. Sometimes I actually stand up really fast and whirl around to make sure there isn't actually one there getting ready to bite me.

ok well that is all I can come up with at the moment- Julie B- I will post more stories for you when I think of some!

Cheapness runs in the blood

I finally broke down and bought some more bath towels. The towels we have been using will literally rip down the middle when you tug on them too hard. Normal people would probably throw these away- not me. Nope, I just think "hey! two towels!" I have had some of my towels since we got married. What is that? 10 years ago? When we got them they were maroon, navy blue and hunter green. Yes for the same bathroom! Those colors mixed together are a whole other subject themselves. In any case- they aren't those colors anymore. They have faded over the years to a muddy yellowish-brown. Very pretty color. So I overcame the triple dose of extreme cheapness handed down to me from both my parents and a grandma and bought some new ones. 6 new ones to be exact. Anymore than that and I would have overloaded the little piece of my brain that sets my allowable spending limit. And just so you know- this extraordinary inability to spend money is NOT MY FAULT. I tried to explain this to a friend of mine the other day and I am pretty sure she thinks I am cheap AND crazy.

Here are some of the examples of the way we did things in my family.... (Mom- Dad- if you read this- you know I love you and you have taught me so much about being thrifty and smart with money- but this is still funny!)

My dad drove a ram charger around for years with the material on the "ceiling" of the truck hanging down around our heads - he just tacked it up with a pin whenever a spot would hang too low. He hotwired a lightswitch- like an on/off one- to turn on the air conditioning ... or now that I think about it - the heat (because obviously you can live without air conditioning). The drivers side window had to be rolled up by hand. I am not kidding about this people. I think the only reason he bothered to fix the heat was because of the massive hole in the floor somewhere that he cut with a blowtorch that let in the cold air. (no I don't know why).

I actually remember sitting by my mom while she cut the huge strings, threads, etc off her own towels and thinking- I will never do that. HA!

My Grandma Ginny can smell a sale a hundred miles away. She is like a shark detecting the smallest amount of blood in the water possible. There was a store called Santa Surplus that we went to every time we went up there. Sometimes multiple times a day just to make sure they didn't put anything else new out. Which they probably did because we had just cleaned out their displays. This store I believe carried overstocked items, slightly damaged, more damaged, discontinued items- well you get the idea. Mostly decorative stuff. Anyway, they had a 75% off rack that we went over with a fine tooth comb- we picked up everything on it at least once to make sure there was no way to glue back on whatever was missing, or paint the chip over or whatever it was that would fix it. And to give her credit- she did find some great deals and bargains on there. She still tells a story about when I was little and she found shirts for a dollar and bought every one of them and now she doesn't like to pay anymore than that for shirts!

I could go on and on. If you don't believe me ask my sister.

Now don't start feeling sorry for my poor childhood- we were not poor! My dad had a very good job the whole time I was growing up- my mom was able to stay home with us kids. And my grandma and grandpa also had good jobs with good retirement. And we all went to a private Christian school for all of junior high and high school. This is just the way we are programmed. I am not sure we can help it. My husband loves it when I carry a 5$ item around Walmart for an hour and then put it back right before the checkout because "I can just wait another month...." I think its a sickness. Don't worry about my daughter though- just one drop of my husband's blood will even out any cheapness she might have inherited from me! And just in case you are wondering what I did with old towels... they are sitting in my laundry room so I can decide which ones to throw out and which ones to hang onto for another decade and which ones I might be able to use at least as a dust rag. (:

Some newest pics of Annabelle

Yea!

Ok I sent my blog out to everyone and people like it! YEA! I am so excited! Those of you that said nice things to me about it- you have no idea what you have done. Now I will never shut up! I had a shirt in high school that said "I'm talking and I can't shut up!" Maybe that should have been the name of my blog....

Anna update : Nemo

My perfect daughter Annabelle is obsessed with the "Finding Nemo" movie. I put her in front of a movie in the mornings while I get ready.... I know I know.... bad mommy. Believe me that guilt trip has kept me busy traveling for a lot of days. I don't know what else to do with her while I am in the shower! And she pulls on my chi iron and gets in all the bathroom drawers if I leave her in with me while I put make-up on, etc. Anyway, bad or not, the child watches some sort of movie while I get ready. So one day I thought it would be cute if she started liking Disney movies as well as Baby Einstein. I happen to love anything to do with ocean creatures myself and when they talk so much the better right? So I tried Little Mermaid first and that one didn't really catch on. Next I tried Finding Nemo. From the first she was in a trance. She loves this movie! It is "mee-mo?" all day long. She absolutely begs to watch this movie. She has woken up saying mee-mo. I have to shut the bedroom door during the day or she goes in and turns the tv on! And she loves to go visit Nemo at the Wonders of Wildlife. I actually think she would watch the movie all the way through and then watch it again....NO I have NOT let her do this! I swear!

Complaint Free World

So my friend has talked me into wearing this complaint free bracelet with her.... anyone heard of this yet? Yeah, so I am going to try to cease and desist all complaining for TWENTY-ONE days.....21 days! I mean really- is that even possible.... or healthy? No seriously- this is a great project. The bracelet is purple so the color is good. And the idea is great. The website says most people complain on average of 15-30 times a day! Wow! Maybe triple that and you have me. The idea with this bracelet is to start with it on one wrist and if you complain you have to switch it to the other arm and start your twenty one days all over again. I guess what this mostly means is that I need to get all my complaining out in the next few days before that stupid bracelet gets here! So next year sometime when I actually achieve this goal I will let you know. Wish me luck!

Hello, My name is Amber and I am completely terrified of tornados....

Ok seriously- enough with the tornados. Now I have heard all the statistics that my husband quotes me everytime there is a storm watch out. I realize there is really very little chance of me or mine getting blown away by a whirling tunnel of terror. I recognize the fact that most storms are not that dangerous and don't spawn black monsters that roar and eat everything in their path and then spit it out again. And I realize that I am 30 years old and should be past this all consuming fear that takes over me when there is a chance of a serious storm .But somehow, when that little band starts scrolling across the tv screen telling us which counties should be living in mortal terror tonight my stomach just knots up. When the words "tornado watch" lights up the screen I turn into the super alert person who is tuned into every small sound of rain smacking the windows or wind whipping around in the trees. Somehow all I can see on the tv is that little map down at the bottom that takes over the entire screen (at least in my head it does). And Heaven forbid those words should turn into the dreaded tornado WARNING. There isn't enough xanax in the world to talk me down from the anxiety ledge. OMG- the sirens. Even now just thinking about those awful wailing sirens.... I HATE TORNADOS! The number of times that I have packed up everything I can fit in my car and positively fled to my parents basement.... I have packed photo albums, my cat, books, favorite belongings. My husband has finally refused to even go with me anymore. The last few times I have screwed up every bit of courage I have ever possessed and stayed at home when there is a tornado watch. Stayed at home and worried myself sick that is. Time before last I had myself, my baby, and the cat in the bathroom. Baby Anna and myself were in the bathtub surrounded by as many pillows and blankets as I could carry (like those would help one bit if a F5 tornado ripped through my walls like they were plywood)- getting wet, mind you, because the dumb faucet was somehow leaking on me. So there I am in wet pajama pants, clinging to my beloved child, cursing myself for thinking that I was brave enough to stay in a basementless house through a tornado warning. And why is it that these dumb things ALWAYS head straight for my little area of town? Aren't there a lot of other nice stretches of fields they could go eat up? SERIOUSLY- enough with tornados.

KC Zoo

We took Anna to the KC zoo this last weekend. I say that like it didn't take all the stars aligning in the sky to get us all there at the same time! We- by we I mean Adam, Anna, Mom, Dad and myself- have been trying to get all of us to the zoo - any zoo- since the middle of the summer! ARGH! So anyway, finally get there with Grandma Ginny along also. It was a perfect day weather wise to go so I was really excited. Poor baby girl refused to nap earlier in the day so she was completely exhausted when we got there. She actually fell asleep in the car about 5 mins before we pulled into the park. She had on the cutest outfit- jean skirt with striped leggings and a pink shirt. And of course, pigtails. :)

The KC zoo is much bigger than I thought - we headed to the African exhibits first. We walked and walked and walked some more til I was just about ready to have scream at someone "Where are the da*n animals?" And I don't cuss much so you can tell the level of frustration... well honestly my frustration level was high to start with because of my wonderful husband. I won't really go into that because I have no desire to fight it out again with him when he reads this post. In a nutshell we were a little late getting started and Anna wasn't able to take her normal naptime so there was no nap...anyway bygones about that. We finally did get to see some animals but Anna wasn't showing too much interest. She did clap and try to summon the giraffes and zebras like she does Roman but they evidently don't speak Anna-ese. She liked the hippo and we got a cute picture of Anna and I with a rhino statue. Once we got a little further in Mom and I stripped her of the cute stockings and pink shirt and put on a little tshirt and she perked right up. Poor kid- what a bad momma I am. Anyhow, the rest of the zoo was very fun. Anna ran and ran and had a great time. We ended up skipping some of the exhibits because we had already walked about far enough for the day. We did do the carousel and Anna loved that very much. Guess I will be looking for one of those in Springfield!

Oh yes- funny happening at the entrance to the zoo- Dad ordered our tickets and had to order 2 senior passes- one for him and one for Gma. Normally not a funny occurance but Adam snickered and made the rest of us bust up laughing at Dad being a senior. (:

Couch to 5k

So Julie W and I have done two 5K's now- the first one I broke my foot (not really- I have something irritatingly painful called planter fasciitis). I did complete the first one by limping through with Julie's help. (what a good friend!). We did the second one - the Sunshine Run- this last Saturday. We walked this one together - finished in 51 and some seconds. We have agreed to walk one together then do the next one on our own then one together than one separate...well you get it. The next one we are doing is the Bass Pro something or other in mid-November. I am starting a couch to 5K training tonight to get me to where I can run the whole thing in a decent time. (hopefully). This is supposed to take 9 weeks. I am a little skeptical but willing to try because I really want to run the whole race. Then I want to take on the 10K.

So about the Sunshine Run. This 5k was actually part of a full marathon day - there was a mile walk and a 10K as well. The route started right in front of Hammon's Field and ended at home plate. There were so many people! It was so fun to be part of such a big group. Plus we got a great t-shirt! Julie did so great-she ran part of it so I was very proud of her. Great effort esp considering she was sicky. The air was so crisp and cold- it felt like it just cleaned out your insides with every breath. I really enjoyed this route actually. I am excited to do the next two in November- we are also signing up for the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving day.

I am surprised at how much I enjoy these marathons. There is such a feeling of accomplishment when you are done. Maybe that is silly to those of you out there that are skinny and athletic but to a former couch potato and sugar addict- getting moving and setting goals is a huge deal! I love seeing myself able to do more and more and to know that I am setting a good example for Anna. I will keep everyone updated on my progress with the training and the marathons. Julie and I plan to start taking pictures every marathon so we can track our progress to skinny-ville! (:

Just blogging to get in the habit...

Hey all....wow I am so crazy tired right now. We just got back from the KC zoo so I will get on here tomorrow and tell you all about that. But tonight....no. I am just too tired to go into all that! (: I will, however, just say that I did not realize we were going to walk to the actual continent of Africa today. Seriously- we walked all over the globe today. Hence the desire to turn around and kick Adam to the floor so I can have the couch to myself so I can lay down and never move again. So now- to bed.

I admit it.... (old blog from myspace)

I admit it....sometimes I beg my daughter to go back to sleep.
I admit it...in the course of "organizing" the rest of the house, my back bathroom is piled high with all the stuff I "organized" out of the other rooms.
I admit it...I would be happy if I never had to eat another vegetable.
I admit it...sometimes I let Anna watch two Baby Einsteins in a row to get some extra time to myself.
I admit it...I am afraid of the dark..... and tornados.
I admit it...I steal scrapbooking ideas all the time.
I admit it...I love carbs. And not the good for you kind- the bad, make your butt big kind.
I admit it...I can't remember much beyond my own name anymore.
I admit it...I have painted my bathroom 3 different colors in the last year.
I admit it...I still smell coffee packages at the grocery store.
I admit it...sometimes if I don't want to finish unloading the dishwasher I just rewash the clean dishes.
I admit it...

Desert Wanderer (old blog from myspace)

My sister said something the other day that just put me on the floor laughing...
She said that sometimes when she catches herself complaining and worrying and not being content too much she stops and asks God... "Do I just need to go wander in the desert for 40 years?"
Maybe I need to go wander in the desert for 40 years! How much I have to be thankful for and yet I still catch myself wandering into thoughts of "it's not fair" or "if only this would happen". And how important it is to learn to be content in all circumstances and be so thankful for the many many blessings I have. I think I need to add to my goal list.... learn to be thankful and trusting before God sends me to the desert for 40 years!
Wander: 1 a : to move about without a fixed course, aim, or goal b : to go idly about : RAMBLE 2 : to follow a winding course : MEANDER3 a : to go astray (as from a course) : STRAY b : to go astray morally : ERR c : to lose normal mental contact

Scrapbooking....and turning thirty (old blog from myspace)

So I must say that I have really been feeling creative lately! Normally, as my one and only scrapbooking friend (thank you for being my scrapbooking friend Stacy) can testify, I get about one scrapbook page a year done. I always tend to rip them apart-literally- and then try and redo them to make them perfect. But in the last 2-3 months I have completed my baby shower album, done a little album of our many and varied pets over the years, and have almost finished TWO more albums of just random friends pics, overnight trip pics, other peoples shower pics, etc. What is going on with me? Well here is my theory.... and it ties in with my new attitude turning thirty has given me. I don't really care anymore what people think about me.... or my scrapbook pages. And I am really tired of trying to be perfect. First of all- it isn't working. (Hope I didn't destroy someone's world just then). So I just create my pages for the enjoyment of creating them and for the differences on each page. I am looking at each page as more of a reflection of what mood I am in at the moment or what "scrapbooking technique" I want to try out. (Adam laughs about scrapbooking having such serious things as a technique but its true!) I guess I just don't care anymore about whether they are the perfect page or whether OTHER people will think they are perfect. Or whether I am perfect. Or whether I get every single thing done perfectly with Anna and the house and with my family, etc etc on and on. Whew... so much less pressure! (: One of these days I will sit down and scan some of my pages in and post them on here for anyone who actually reads my blogs. BTW- totally off topic- if anyone out there is actually reading these- change your myspace pages! I am getting bored with the same old pages! I mean seriously- get a new background or post some more pictures or something! (: Ok back on topic.... actually... I guess that is all I had to say....

New Blogger

Hey all, new blogger here.... Adam said I should start blogging so I figured why not? I do after all have a lot to say as those who know me will tell you. Once I have a few posts on here and know that I am going to keep this up and not type in things like "really rainy here today...." and "so ummm..... I got a pedicure this morning" then I will send the address or whatever it is called to everyone so you can keep up with Anna and I. I'm sure it will be the highlight of everyones day! (: