Moving right along

School is going fantastically! I got through my first official nursing school test. In pharmacology. Which is not as bad as I thought it would be. It is hard though- there is a LOT of information out there. And those drugs do a LOT of things in the body. That's pretty much the summary of what I learned- that they do a LOT. :) I just finished (and passed) my first set of skill checks so woo hoo about that! One more test this week and then I can relax for about a day before it all starts over again. Next Monday we get to learn how to put in a catheter. Somehow I don't think I'll have so many volunteers to be practiced on for that one. I LOVE what I am learning, LOVE what I am doing. I am so excited about all if it. Well, excited in between the times when I am super nervous about passing a test or skill! I am more convinced than ever that this is where I am supposed to be. That's probably the first time aside from being Anna's momma that I've ever said that. Also, I really am enjoying the people in the program- everyone so far is great and friendly and I actually find myself being social- no one fall over from the shock of that statement please.

We've had a few funny moments- embarrassed myself a few times. I told my clinical instructor that normal blood pressure is 80/20. I DO KNOW what blood pressure is supposed to be mind you. It just slipped out somehow. It took me over a week of complete obsession over it to figure out that the 80/20 came from a mortgage term from when I worked as a loan processor. Still embarrassing. I also just completely lost control of myself in a computer training class and starting laughing uncontrollably. It's all the fault of the people sitting on either side of me. It's not my fault. The guy on my right made me laugh by entering himself into the computer as "potato head" and then later on I looked over and he was had changed the font on his screen to 1600 and the letters were so big and thick that he could only see part of a letter at a time so was scrolling and scrolling. Then someone sneezed and it sounded like she just randomly shouted out a number and it was over from there. What? That doesn't sound like enough to make me lose my mind and laugh hysterically? Well, all I can say is you weren't there for 4 hrs straight in a little hot room packed in like sardines... and also sometimes I just go a little nuts. Ask my brother. Let's see.....what else happened...... my clinical partner told my instructor that my capillary refill is good cause my fingernail bed pinked up again (after being gently pushed on) within 30 MINUTES- should be less than 3 seconds. I always have to tell my clinical partner that she is apparently dead because she's the hardest person ever to find pulses or bp on. Even my instructor has trouble with her.  Speaking of instructors, one of my instructors is so incredibly flightly. I just want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her really good and tell her "focus!" She's like a puppy that gets distracted by a butterfly. She'll start off really well then it quickly becomes apparent that she has just wandered off into lala land. Very nice lady and you can tell she knows her stuff- its just getting her to focus long enough to give us the info.
Not much else to tell I suppose. The 4 people I still have a chance to talk to more than twice a month will be bored by this post as I've already told them all this. However, I like to blog, so blog I shall!

Thankfully juggling!

I feel like I have about 87 things in the air right now, like I am wearing 59 different hats, trying to fulfill 73 roles perfectly. I am afraid I am failing spectacularly.

My house is a mess and I'm not sure how cause I keep cleaning it and cleaning it and somehow it just remessifies (yes that's a word) itself about 2 seconds after I clean it or wash it or pick it up. Sometimes I think there must be a gremlin in my house dirtying up the dishes I just washed, wearing the laundry I just put away, and tracking things all over the floor I just vacuumed. Perhaps two gremlins? :)

I have my first quiz tomorrow and I have no idea what to expect. The practice questions and I are not getting along at all. I haven't had much time at all to get all the skills in my head -it's not hard stuff by any means but it has to be perfect and roll right off your tongue and hand with no slips or you fail that time. Plus I am not so great with the "having people watching me do things I am not confident doing" thing. I should have had this done by now but I've been so busy redoing pharmacology notes that its been on the back burner. I haven't even touched my fundamentals notes cause that test is still two weeks away.

In the time I have remaining today,  I need to clean two bathrooms, vacuum an entire house, pick up two toy rooms, clean by hand two more sinks of dishes, finish piles and piles of laundry, wash down the kitchen counters and floor, figure out something for dinner, get my pretty new schoolbag packed for tomorrow, lay out all of Anna's things for tomorrow, take back movies, go get ice and study my 37 pages of notes for my quiz tomorrow. Needless to say, I am in desperate need of an evening out.

I also am in desperate need of some better self-control and motivation in the running/eating not horrendously department. It would really help me out it would stop the stupid snowing every other freaking second! Geez, everytime I succeed in running more than 2 days in a row, I am rewarded with freezing cold and snow!

As a mom, I'm trying to make sure my child has lots of fun on the days we're together, that I'm teaching her and spending quality time with her, making sure she is loved on and entertained and getting everything that she deserves from me. We've done a lot of that yesterday and today, but its also been one of those "argh!" days. So far she's spilled massive amts of cheese all over the floor, completely unwound a roll of papertowels, put her clothes on incorrectly 3 times (on purpose- she knows how to do it), climbed on the counter and grabbed the sprinkles and spilled them all over the floor before I could get to her, refused to play by herself, while she was playing with water (with permission) she filled her cloth chef's hat entirely full of water then it leaked out everywhere but on the 4 towels I had laid on the floor, picked her nose looking for bright red cherries (I swear to all that is holy if I ever find out who taught her that I will beat them right down), laid her beautiful puzzle book in the middle of some paint I was cleaning up (not on purpose), banged on my cabinets with somethimg metal and put marks in it, and right now she is pulling all the toppings off her homemade pizza because she "hates the sauce". And its only 1230. After this we are making another mess making more valentines cookies.

Yesterday we got to spend the morning at the doctors office (I say morning because I got there at 9 and didn't leave til 11ish). She has broken out in some sort of weird rash that we thought was chicken pox. Turns out it was just a virus but the poor thing has to stay home so she doesn't pass it around. Poor mommy has to stay home too which is why my facebook status says "the "second day trapped in the house crazies" are setting in. Her doctor is leaving the practice which makes me want to throw myself at her feet and cling on to them til she drags us wherever she is going. She has been a wonderful doctor and never even once told me to stop being crazy. I am super sad she isn't going to be Anna's doctor anymore.

However, I did get some great confirmation from her doctor that something I was worried about is not a concern so that is AWESOME on a HUGE scale. I can't really even quite realize I can lay down that worry yet. That has been such a weight on my heart and soul that I can't even begin to describe it and won't cause I don't really want to get into the why's and wherefores of why I was even worried in the first place.
So, in the grand scheme of things- I am crazy grateful to have a healthy, smart, sweet, loving child, grateful for the opportunity to go back to school, happy with the industry I have chosen and the chance to have a career that allows me to care for people, blessed that my husband has a job and that we have a house in this crazy scary economy, so very blessed to have family, and glad to have gained some perspective over the years that allows me to realize that my petty little whines need to be looked at with proper prespective and replaced with thankfulness. But just for the sake of my momentary sanity..... ARGH!

Craziness

So I've had some craziness since the last post- not too serious- just enough to keep things interesting. Anna's had two viruses in the last two weeks- first one with stomach issues, this one is just some crazy weird rash all over her skin. I thought it was chicken pox at first but doctor says just a virus. I've done a TON of note-taking. I think I finally got some sort of idea of what the heck I am supposed to be doing for my classes so I had to go back through and reorganize everything, adding and subtracting and rewording all my notes. We did our first clinical at the hospital- that was fun. We got to bug some nurses and PCA's. :) I don't think the nurses really wanted us there. I was told that "nurses tend to eat their young". Destiny- thoughts? :) I guess there really isn't anything else interesting to say- actually there probably is but I'm tired again (big surprise!) I have some pictures of Anna in her gymnastics class. So I think I'll just post some.

 

Drama, drama, drama

*I wrote this post a couple days ago and never posted it- then found it again- so posting it now just for fun. *


You know what one of my favorite things is? Drama. No seriously- I love it. I THRIVE on it. It makes me so happy and fulfilled. If I get a hint that some drama is coming down the line- I just get giddy with excitement. :) It's just so much fun - everyone is always happy during dramatic times- no rifts are ever formed or sides taken. You know what's even better than drama? Drama for absolutely no reason. That's the very best of all. Oh wait! I forgot! It's even MORE fun when it's public! Yeah- that for sure makes it better.

oh I have so much to do...all tomorrow...

People, I am so tired. I just spent the last 3 hours making up drug cards for clinic. Drug cards for those of you not in nursing school............................... wow, sorry, just fell asleep mid typing .... drug cards are notecards covered with all kinds of information on a specific drug (all copied from the drug guide book) in the tiniest possible writing so it will all fit. And yes, I did say copied.... cause we actually take the information that someone has so nicely put all together in a book with pretty typing all handy dandy in alphabetical order and in a nice size to carry right around with you, and we move it (by rewriting it- I'm sorry- I'm super tired- I probably don't even make any sense right now) to a huge paper notecard in pencil, in handwriting that is mostly illegible. They say it's supposed to somehow help you learn it by writing it cause it has to go through two different types of....blah blah. Maybe they don't realize that we write these in front of the tv....

In other news... I still have so much reading to do ... maybe cause I procrastinated the last two nights? Nah, that can't be it. It seemed at the time that I had a lot of time left to do all this work and now it seems like maybe I have no time. Did someone steal my time? Did I mention that I'm practically asleep right now? Seriously, why am I blogging right now? I have to go to sleep now. Right now. zzzzzz.....

I gave a hot dog a shot yesterday... and other nursing school tales

That's gonna be the name of my book. Just kidding. I'm not writing a book. That you know of. It definitely won't say anything about anyone in my life. At least not by their real name. I have no idea why I'm writing this nonsense- I guess I'm in a weird mood. More tired than weird. I had crazy dreams all night last night. The kind you wake up from completely unrefreshed and also feeling just a little crazy in the head. Oh... that's just me? Ok well, in any case, I'm tired today. I was tired last night after my first clinical too. I think all the newness and information and expectations and the 50,243 different places we go each day, all at different times might have overwhelmed my brain. I say might of when I mean for sure, definitely, and absolutely.

Very much enjoyed my first day of clinicals. Pretty low stress which was nice. We stayed at the school- they have an LRC- learning resource center all equipped with needles and fake patients... and fake parts of fake patients. Arms and butts mostly. Yeah I said butts. We learned how to start an iv yesterday but didn't get to practice that yet. We did however get to give a hot dog an intradermal (right underneath the top layer of skin) shot. If you've ever had a TB test- it's that kind of shot. Makes a weird puffy spot under your skin called a wheal or a bleab. Ah the things I learned. :) I of course, was unable to make this wheal because apparently hot dog skin isn't like normal skin (duh, right?) so it doesn't always work. And I wasn't sure how laid back or helpful these professors were going to be cause my sister is taught by the devil's minions themselves, so I wasn't sure what to expect and only tried it the once.  After yesterday however, I'd grab that stupid uncooperative hot dog and a professor and make them show me exactly what I was doing wrong to make that saline refuse to stay under the skin! The rest of the "trying" went better however. We stabbed several arms and butts with needles. Very fun. Tempting to sneak out a needle to try on some unsuspecting friend but I guess they kick you out for that, so whatever. I guess they just want to ruin our fun like that. :) We do get to stab other students and start iv's on them after we pass our skill returns! Yea!
They have us going every which way the 3 days a week they have us. I am extremely glad to have one more semester of Grandmas, Nanas, Grandpas, and Papas watching Anna. It would be a nightmare trying to keep it straight without them! I won't be spending too much time with actual patients this first semester so while it might make for a less interesting blog, I'm kinda glad as I can ease my way into it more. Plus I have so freaking much reading to do - pretty much all I'm going to be doing is reading and studying. Still, I'm glad to be here and I want to do well (as opposed to being a total screw up-eek) so read and study I shall! 
I guess not much else to report on that front. Anna started her gymnastics class today. She loved it. I'll post pics next blog.

Oh, there it is

I've been wondering where the "there is no way in heck I'm going to be able to do this program" fear will set in....

well.....


it's here.

Just so ya know.

I love this song

 Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that Im losing her forever
And without really entering her world
Im glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see whats in her mind
Each time I think Im close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when shes gone theres that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I cant deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didnt
And why I just dont know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see whats in her mind
Each time I think Im close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers...

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Orientation so far

Ok there is not a whole heck of a lot to report.... Orientation so far has actually been just a little boring. Here are the highlights.

• all professors seem extremely nice and willing to go the extra mile to help you learn.
• looks like my first couple weeks/months(?) of clinicals will actually be at the school instead of with real patients. probably smart on their part!
• first procedure we'll learn is to put in iv's and give shots. 
• today we broke into teams and made paper chains to demonstrate the importance of communication and teamwork..... I think that's enough said about that.
• I am now only missing one scrub top (I have the other one) so I will be fully dressed the first day of school. Always a plus! Also, everything fits.... so another plus! 
• Most of the people in my class seem very nice and not irritating... I say most because of my next point.
• We do have the obligatory "I know more than everyone else and I have more stories and an inappropriate amount of enthusiasm to prove it" person in the class
• I already have TONS of reading to do
• I bought a book on how to take nursing school tests- because apparently they are unlike anything taken in a normal classroom. Multiple several many A whole heck of a lot of people have told me this. I guess they want you to "really understand and apply the concepts" as opposed to just memorizing. So that's irritating. No, JUST KIDDING- obviously this is a very important skill considering what we will be doing shortly!
• watched yet another heartwrenchingly sad video that made me cry in front of total strangers about medical errors. I really hope that is the last one of those that they spring on us. 
• The syllabus for my first class is 24 pages long. That is NOT an exaggeration. The second class syllabus is 18 pages long. JUST THE SYLLABUS!
  
• One class has 345 points available in the whole semester. That means I can miss only 34 points to keep an A. I think my liking of B's just increased by a very large amount. 
• Overall, still very impressed with the program!
  

One last hoop

Tomorrow (and Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday) is orientation day! Again! Yea! :) I am not sure what there is left to orient me to but since it's 4 days long I suppose it must be important. Right? Surely.

After this week, I'll have jumped through the last "before nursing school begins" hoop. I'm sure there are plenty of "before graduation" hoops that I'll soon be jumping. And unfortunately, I have heard that those hoops are lit on fire..... and come with a trainer who has a whip.... yikes.

It's kind've a surreal feeling being this close to actually starting clinicals. Everyone keeps asking if I'm nervous or excited.... mostly it's just in the denial folder. And the denial folder is a whole other blog. Actually, I am excited though. I'm sure the nerves and downright fear are lurking in the wings waiting their turn. They'll probably jump out and tackle me the first time I enter a patients room. Then I'll remember that I'm just a first semester nursing student and am just there to clean up the poop or empty a urine bag and really who can screw that up? Well, ok we all know that I can. But its poop so who really cares? :)

I imagine they are going to give us all kinds of fun information tomorrow - maybe things like where we'll start out what we'll be learning. I get to pick up the other half of my scrubs tomorrow. Did I already mention that the first time I attempted to pick up scrubs that they only had the bottom half? Yea. Tops were on back order. Lucky those came in!

I'll be sure to come back and post details tomorrow for all my thousands of dedicated readers waiting breathlessly for details.