Just Talking....

I am pretty sure no one is still reading this blog but it is kind've nice to still have. I like having somewhere to record myself. I don't like the physical act of writing. Perhaps its because I hate my handwriting. Oh yes, and there is no backspace key with a pen. In any case, I do love "keeping a journal" - just not on paper. Online works much better for me. Of course, I can't tell this diary EVERY thought that goes through my head just in case people are still reading it. But the thoughts that I wouldn't want to post are also the thoughts that are probably better left unrecorded in any fashion. Paranoid? perhaps. Too much damage can be done by words. I have learned that over the years. And even when everyone agrees to forgive and forget I believe the words spoken can still linger on in people's souls years later. So for anyone still reading- you are getting a glimpse into my heart and mind and soul but maybe not too deep of one. (:

I do wonder how well some of my friends actually know me. It is interesting how over the years you can start to know someone better than they even think you do. Several years ago, Adam and I saw a movie and after the first preview I leaned over to Adam and pointed to a woman on the screen and said "you hate her, don't you?" Now he has never told me this and I have no idea how I knew but I just knew that he couldn't stand something about her. I freaked him out! He couldn't believe I knew that. I think I hide large chunks of myself away from people but you wonder how much they pick up just from being around you so much. Sometimes I do feel like certain people do not "see" the real me. And maybe wouldn't like me as much if they did. I hope that I do a good job of "seeing" and loving my friends the way they are.